David Beckham loves ufology. Once he heard an angry Scottish roar and when he looked up he saw a UFO with studs that hit him in the head [Getty Images David Beckham loves ufology. Once he heard an angry Scottish roar and when he looked up he saw a UFO with studs that hit him in the head [Getty Images

Ufology: (n) the study of unidentified flying objects

In a sentence:

Waiter: Sir you have to come into the restaurant. It’s chaos.

Head waiter: I see what’s happening here. I’m an ufologist. And all these porcelain discs in the air suggest to me some sort of domestic dispute is in full flow in our restaurant.

Waiter: You always said your ufology would come in handy one day sir.

Head waiter: I think we need to let this one calm down on its own. The lady has quite a powerful forearm and the husband has a keen and accurate eye.

Waiter: Should we evacuate the other guests?

Head waiter: I think we are lucky we renamed the restaurant Zorba’s Dance. They all appear to be under the impression they are taking part in the Greek tradition of plate smashing.